Tade: *clears throat*
Chia: So you don’t like my dress??
Tade: *confused…looks up* I was just clearing my throat
Chia: Because you don’t like the dress
Tade: Your dress is ok, i was just clearing my throat though
Chia: So the dress is just ok?!! I wanted to look extraordinary and you are saying, OK??? I’m going to change
Tade: C. lets go now, I’m getting hungry oh
Chia: There is rice in the fridge. I’m not leaving till I literally look drop-dead gorgeous
Tade: Rice every-time sha. Rice in the morning, in the afternoon, for dinner, for snack. AHHHH!!!! Me i’m tired ohhh.
Chia: So you want me to start cooking for you now, so that i would look and smell like your house-girl at your office dinner abi? Then that amaka girl would be looking like Victoria secrets model and I would look like ekaette. Issokay.
Tade: You have started again Chia, who is amaka?
Chia: You don’t know Amaka ehnn??? That one that wears mini-skirt to work all the time and asks you to “just come for lunch” with her. You don’t know her anymore? Issokay.
Tade: *Laughs* You mean Amara??? But everybody knows she is the office slut nahhh!! Who is even looking at her? *mscheww*
Chia: *looks at Tade in excitement* Really?? She is? I knew it!! I never like her sef. Oya tell me more.
Tade: Kai, Chia, your aproko is too much. Do they pay you do gossip? Chai….the aproko business is doing you strong oh. You know what? I’m not even telling you anything, let us go.
Chia: But it’s not fair now. Tell me. Is she sleeping with your oga? Wait ohh!!!! *thinking* She is sleeping with that guy from the tech office.
Tade: Please abeg not today. I’m not gonna do that with you tonight. I’m still hungry oh
Chia: Wait let me just put on my wig and eyebrows.
Tade: *shakes head* You don’t need all that pancake. I’m always telling you, you look beautiful the way you are.
Chia: *turns to Tade* Aww thank you, But I want to look smashing so …go figure.
Tade: I’ll give you 5 more mins sha. Use it wisely.
Chia: No!!!! that’s not nice joor.
Tade: Be talking there *looks at watch*minus 30secs. You should be more like me. I get dressed in less than 30mins because I know what to wear and I don’t wear fake make-up
Chia: *fixing eyelashes* I know what to wear too, but, it doesn’t look great last minute. So I have to change.
Tade: And you change hundred times *mscheww* Wasting my time.
Chia: But it’s all for you now. *Yimu*
Tade: You know it’s all for you, stop lying. You like people to gawk at you. *yimu’s back*
Chia: Is that not how you noticed me when I ushered at that convention?
Tade: Yes but I didn’t know you took this long.
Chia: You would come and ask me stupid questions like, “where is the restroom?” or lie “can I get a bulletin?because I lost mine “
Tade: That wasn’t a lie, I actually lost it
Chai: Whatever…. I’m ready
*MOVEMENT TOWARDS CAR*
Tade: Why are you quiet?
Chia: No reason…
Tade: Did I say something wrong?
Chia: Not really…
Tade: Which one is not really?
Chia: Is just that you make me look selfish, that’s all. And I don’ think I am, or am I?
Tade: No you aren’t. I was just joking, I love the way you dress. You make complement me.
Chia: Ok. That’s better ‘cos you aren’t the best dresser *sticks out tongue*. By the way, I heard that Aunty Debby is coming back to naij because her husband told her to. He is getting lonely apparently *rolls eyes*. But I don’t understand sef, doesn’t he have a girlfriend with him? Why is he bothering his wife on top of that? she is just going to lose all the freedom she had when she was there.
Tade: *His mouth agape in surprise* Uncle Richard has a girlfriend?
Chia: So you didn’t know? Everybody knows that, even Aunty Debby. Tade, you are good-natured that why. He wants her to come so he will cage her.
Tade: When she’s not a bird. What if he just misses her, you know say body no be firewood.
Chia: That’s why he has this small-small girls. I don’t know how they even do it with that his big belle. *Laughs*
Tade: *Giggles* You are very wicked *Laughs* The same thing happened with my boss, now his wife is rendered useless.
*Drives into Restaurant*
Chia: Ehya, that is what I am saying. They no longer know naija, they would just feel like outsiders because, they have stayed too long abroad. If I were Aunty Debby, I would come for only 6 months and go back. I can’t die because of a man oh, God Forbid.
Tade: So you can’t die for me?
Chia: Go away joor, let’s get out of the car.
Chia: Good evening Mr. Ademola, thanks for having me at the dinner. *Smiles*
Boss: A wife of Tade, is a wife of ours.
Tade: Good evening boss. *Shake hands*
Boss: Good evening Tade, We are seated on Table 6, I will wait here to welcome the rest of the staff.
*Walking to Table*
Chia: *Whispers* Agbaya man, a wife of Tade, is a wife of ours ko, a wife of Tade, is a wife of ours ni. Prostitute *Mscheww*.
Chia: Tade, is that your boss’ wife in the red top?
Tade: Yes, that’s her
Chia: Ehya. It is well, but she shouldn’t have worn that weave though and the lipstick shade isn’t working for her
Tade: *pinches Chia* Good evening everyone!!!!!
Chia: *Shyly speaks* Good evening
TIP OF THE DAY:
31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Kwaheri Ya Kuonana,